Things that excite me!

Get your mind outta the gutter. Ain't nobody got time for dat! I'm talking about my current list of reasons to be excited:

1. Honey Boo Boo's mom might be on Dancing with the Stars! What the what? How awesome would that be? But I am seriously concerned that forklift foot may hinder her ability to do the Viennese Waltz.
2. Smash is back. If you don't watch this show, you should.
3. Besides Smash, all kinds of other good TV has returned/premiered: Survivor, Criminal Minds, Walking Dead, Justified, Project Runway, The Following.  My TIVO is crashing from over-usage and I love it! (After re-reading that, I've determined that I really need to get a life.)
4. Just got my NKOTB/Boyz II Men/98 Degrees tickets in.....okay, so I am not so excited about 98 Degrees. They had like one good song. Total waste of my $5.99 which I paid to Columbia House back in the day to get that dang CD for just one good song. But I am totally stoked from NKOTB and Boyz II Men.  
5. I signed my baby up for kindergarten this week.  It was both exciting and frightening. And also made me a little sad. Seriously where does the time go? Just yesterday she was my chunky monkey with the fat little arms:

What are you excited about these days?

Thankfulness...the abridged version

I didn't jump on the Facebook bandwagon of listing the things I am thankful for every day. Who has time for that? So, here is the condensed version:

1. For my kids. They are crazy and sweet and cuddly and hilarious. All at the same time. Every day is different with those three in it.
2. For my husband. He has been there through everything with me over the years: the good, the bad, and the ugly. And he still sticks around despite all that!
3. For my sister who knows everything about me and who I can call 24/7, 365, even if it is for the dumbest thing.
4. For my parents. I see bad parents every day in my profession, which reminds me how blessed I am to have/had great ones.
5. For the rest of my family. Extended family, you know who you are!
6. For my job. I love my job and can honestly say I wake up every day looking forward to going to work.
7. For my education. My parents instilled in me the importance of that.  Regardless of what happens to me in life, my degrees are the one thing no one can take away.
8. For my crabby dog, Abby (frivolous I realize). That dog was like my first born! Love her! Can't hardly sleep without her big hairy butt noozled up next to me.
9. For my University of Kentucky Wildcats. If you don't understand this one, then you are probably a hater!
10. For my house, car, and all the other frivolous things I have. They may be material, but I am thankful nonetheless that God has provided a means for me to obtain the things that I want.
11. For my friends. I don't see them often enough, but you hookers know who you are! Love ya!
12. For my health. I don't really need to elaborate on this one.
13. BLACK FRIDAY! I love you Black Friday!
14. The memories I have of my childhood, all happy.

My kids be cray cray!

Let me start by saying I love my kids.  I really do. However, I have spawned three completely CUHRAZY offspring. Case in point:

Helping wrap presents

Who doesn't love Skyline?

Spaghettios anyone?

Walk tall, carry big stick

I'm not sure this even needs an explanation

The living room after the Terrible Tornadic Twos hit it

Cause fake kitchens are made for tipping over and climbing on

Naked arts and crafts

Watching TV together


 

Honey Boo Boo

Seriously, what is there not to love about this show? The hubs says it's a train wreck. Duh! Of course it's a train wreck. That's the reason I love it. I mean, the family even lives in a house in front of a train track. It couldn't be more perfect.

In all seriousness though, this family is real. Mama may not feed her kids the best diet in the world, but her and Sugar Bear seem to genuinely love their children.  The parents are always doing something with the kids, taking them to the Redneck Games, out to eat, for pedicures, muddin', etc. They are making memories with the kids, which is more than a lot of parents can say. 

They also seem to be civic minded.....hell Sugar Bear dressed in a Santa suit in the heat of summer in Georgia in order to get canned goods for the community! That's teaching your kids to care about others and to care about your community. Again, not to sound like my own momma, but this is what's wrong with this country....the citizens have lost their morals, values, and empathy for others. Maybe we need more Sugar Bears and Junes in the world! (Mom, if you are reading this, I am sure you are cringing as you hate Honey Boo Boo! Whatever, hate on hater! I love this show!!!!)

So Mama's forklift foot was covered in gnats, she took her kids to bingo and she allows them to eat cheese balls in bulk? Your point is?!?! She's trying....she's doing the best she can with what she has. And at the end of the day, isn't that all that matters?  I think so.  My house is always an explosion of toys and dirty laundry, sometimes the twins don't match, and sometimes (not that often, so don't judge) my kids go 2 days without a bath! Hell, sometimes we even eat hot dogs for dinner! But we are trying and are doing the best we can with what we have. Our kids are loved and it shows.

That's the message I think you get from Honey Boo Boo.  And that's my plug for the show. Besides, what is there not to love about this hot mess:

 

Dancing with the Stars Top 10 observations

I love this show, but the hubs hates it. Alas, I am stuck TiVoing it out of respect for the hubs who for some reason doesn't want to watch half nude males gyrating music.  This season, it's the Allstars, which makes me love the show even more. We aren't stuck with the likes of Master P or Kenny Mayne.  All these people are good.  Damn good!

I must say I thoroughly enjoyed my 45 minutes zipping through DWTS this morning and sipping coffee. Observations from last night's episode:

1. Maks is HOT!!!.
2. Joey Fatone has gray hair.  Let me repeat: a member of my second all time favorite boy band has gray hair (Sorry NYSNC, my heart belongs to NKOTB as Jordan Knight was my first true love).  This is disturbing on a variety of levels, the most disturbing of which is it makes me feel old. And I am not old. Nor will I ever be old!
3. Maks is still hot.
4. The reference by Kirstie Alley re: Maks and 50 Shades of Grey makes Maks even hotter.
5. If Maks is a 10+, his brother is a solid 8.5 in clothes and a 9 shirtless.
6. Derek Hough is hot too.  He'd be hotter if I could ever ascertain whether or not he is actually hetero. I'm still not certain.
7. Kelly Monaco has a point.....it is difficult to dance with fake fun bags.  I never really thought about this before but now it all makes sense....this is why the professional dancers are all flatish. No one wants a black eye from a DD fun bag while doing the Cha Cha. This may explain Pamela Anderson's quick departure last week. Or it could just be because the bitch has two left feet.
8. Shawn Johnson, Sabrina Ryan, and Melissa Rycroft are just the cutest little things. I would love to have them as BFFs in real life. I just want to squeeze little Shawn Johnson.
9. Maks is hot.
10. Drew Lachey is strong. I always thought his biceps were just for looks.  I mean, with a brother like Nick Lachey and his massive guns, you gotta at least try to keep up. But last night, he proved they were more than just for show and did an amazing sideways hand stand thingie on a lamp post.  While it is impressive, he still ain't no Maks.....too short for my liking! You can see his impressive feat here. 

Freebie List

I am a huge fan of Friends.  If you are a fan too, you have no doubt watched the episode about the Freebie List.  If you were under a rock in the late 90's, here's the clip.

Anyway, the general idea is that the Friends each have a freebie list...a list of celebrities they are allowed to sleep with and their significant other can't get mad. I was in college when Friends was popular and this subject became a hot topic among my friends at the time. Over the years, my list has evolved.  The following is the current version (in no particular order):

Channing Tatum
 

The guy is smokin' hot! Anyone who says otherwise is either blind or clearly hasn't seen the awesomeness that is Magic Mike. A true cinematic treasure!!

David Beckham

Someone once told me they didn't get the appeal and why people found him attractive. I showed that moron a picture of him in his undies and she quickly changed her mind. The only negative thing I can find about him is that he is attached to that twat Posh Spice. Bitch needs to eat!!! But his lovely British accent outweighs any negative that Posh might bring to the table!

Justin Timberlake

Dude has dance moves and he is HUHlarious on SNL. But let's face it, this choice is mainly for nostalgia purposes.  He is the only constant on my list...dating back to his N'Sync days.

Ryan Lochte (but only in a Speedo and only if his mouth is taped shut)
 

 

The dude is a douche, no doubt about it.  But he can swim fast and he is the hottest douche I have ever seen. He only made the list this past summer. 

Charlie Hunam (but only if he's on the back of a motorcycle wearing his Samcro jacket)

If you don't watch Sons of Anarchy, you should. If nothing else, this hottie has lots of sex scenes on the show. I think it's the bad ass attitude he has on the show that makes him all the more hot!


Honorable Mention:

• Ryan Gosling
• Adam Levine
• The Rock
• Jon Hamm (but only as Don Draper)
• Ryan Reynolds (pre Scar Jo....I think she is a trashy skank and just can't put that aside enough to move him up the list)

So who is on your list? And for those of you wondering, I am sure my significant other has a list and I know the top of his list is Charlize Theron and Alison Krauss.

Observations

This last weekend we headed down to Gatlinburg for a family reunion/vacation. Observations from the weekend:

1. Dramamine is safe for children and that shit works like a charm. 3 kids and a total of 12ish hours in the car and not one tear was shed! Not one!

2. Do not promise your kid a mermaid show without asking first of the mermaid show is seasonal....it was!

 

 

3. A bear sighting will unite people young and old. One came up to our cabin, my aunt shouts "BEAR!!" and 27 Pigmans came running!!

Can't wait to do it again next year! We all had a blast, thanks to our new best friend, the makers of Dramamine!

Steaming hot (in more ways than one)

For anyone who doesn't live in the midwest or who lives under a rock, let me state the obvious: IT HAS BEEN FRIGGIN HOT!! Which translates into three very crazy/hyper children.  In an effort to rid myself of three minions and cool off, I treated myself last week to this little nugget:

YUM! HOT! OH YEAH!

Okay, so that really didn't cool me off....quite the opposite! That movie was hot!!  In all seriousness, I give it two thumbs up! WAY UP! :)

My only critique: the plot parts involving the love interest were kinda slow...she's not a very good actress. She had that constipated look on her face the whole movie.....and her laugh rivaled Janice from Friends on obnoxious level.  But the slow parts were overshadowed by something much larger (tee hee): CHANNING TATUM! I mean, seriously, has there ever been a finer specimen of man!? Ever? I think not.

I couldn't resist stealing this from some gal on Pinterest:

LOL! Anyone else seen it and loved it?!?!

Current State of Mind

Currently I have a laundry list of new likes and dislikes:

LIKES:

• My iPad and everything that goes along with it! Especially Pinterest! OBSESSED!
• NFL is back!
• Fall foods: Candy corn, candied apples, those yummy peanut butter kisses, pumpkin ANYTHING

DISLIKES:

• NFL is back (Can you tell my team lost yesterday?)
• Fall weather and what it does to my asthmatic kids....it's only September and they are already coughing like mad!
• My iPad (only during the times when my kid is commandeering it and playing annoying episodes of unbearable cartoons)