How do you pronounce that?

I haven't always loved my name, but the longer I work in my profession the more I realize I'm blessed to have something that's normal, semi-common, and pronounceable. Doing this job, I see all kinds of names.....and a lot of them are REALLY REALLY bad. And really really unfortunate.

Due to confidentiality reasons, I can't reveal all of my client's lovely names. I totally wish I could. Trust me, you would laugh! Hysterically! But I can reveal that a reliable source told me yesterday about a new case that came through the Court and the child's name is.............. drumroll .......... LITHIUM! Seriously?? Isn't that something they put in batteries? Or gave crazy people back in the day as part of their crazy people therapy? What was this mother thinking? With a name like Lithium, this mother has severely limited her child's future job prospects.  Top three career choices for Lithium whatsherlastname, Class of 2020: 1.) McDonald's cashier, 2.) Stripper, 3.) crack whore.

Then there is the story of the child in Dayton whose name was Chocolate Mattress.....but that's a whole other blog post!

Along that same line, if you haven't read the book Freakonomics, you should. They have an entire chapter on how naming your child affects the child's future. It's fascinating, and in my opinion, mostly true. I recently ran upon this other guy's article on ridiculous baby names and died laughing! It's all so true. I only wish I had written it myself, but alas I can't take credit. Trust me, you will pee your pants when you read it!

One day my children will thank me for names like Madeline, John and Evan. And don't even get me started on rhyming twin names.....I see that a lot in my job too! And that too, friends, is a whole other post for another day!